outlook, glasses, a picture.

What do I see, and what do I remember?
My psych reading tonight was memory.

The topic neareset to my heart, I'd say. (Though that does not say much.)

Is there a reason.

Is there a reason why terrible things seem to have the ability to burrow down deep into my thoughts. To wedge themselves each tiny inch of space, to grow roots and thrive there.

Is there a reaons, why terrible things are captured, taken, a picture that seems to glow with detail, an image sharpened by my mind, my personal photoshop?

I try not to remember.

One movie, one book, one conversation, one image

They get impressed upon my mind, a stamp,
dented into my skin. my mental body.


And I say, oh Lord, why?

Please take this imagination from me
my remembering.


I do not only want the joy of the Lord to be my strength.
I want to BE joyful!

I want beautiful things to impress upon my mind stronger, clearer
I want to know them best


There are not only simple pleasures to know, to understand
Not only warm weather and friends to be thankful for

I have been redeemed by the holy one, and you have also.

By grace we have been saved, dear one

And what is waiting for us!!


Why am I not followed by this wonder
why doesn't beauty haunt me in my unconcious?


Why don't I dream of beautiful.



Don't worry, I'm okay,

I just can't help but notice the strength of the bad things, and how easy it is to overlook the good.


I can't even believe the way I function.


The God of all creation has won the battle ALREADY.

Did you hear that..


Already.








And one day "the trumpet will sound and the Lord will decend,

It is well with my soul."

..Is it well with yours


?









How I long to rest in the perfect love bestowed upon us,

there is so much good to see.



And I know we can't ignore the bad, I know we are called as believers and lovers of Christ to constantly fight opression, to stand against injustice,


I know.


But not being joyful is almost like not acknowledging the extent of his love,

or maybe it is just not knowing it.




Either way,

I want to know his love so bad.


I would love to taste sweet joy,

and know true, lasting joy



that endures, and perserveres.

That speaks praise


all the time